Parking in the stairs
#crazy #car #fail #drunk #flats #dangerous #omg #wtf #floor #feature #vehicle #others #place #reactions
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"