Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.