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New jokes

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left