NECESSARY EQUIPMENT

Necessary equipment

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New jokes

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.