VODKA AND MUM

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Vodka and mum

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New jokes

Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.