Dog in flower pot
#animal #funny #dog #flower #animals #feature #nature
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.