Barcode vs QR code
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.