Barcode vs QR code
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'