Sad reality of nature
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."