DRUNK DOG

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Drunk dog

#animal #white #funny #drink #drinking #dog #thirsty #drunk #sitting #liquor #animals #color #feature #food #activities

New jokes

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."