Fail banana
#funny #eat #eating #fail #yellow #banana #feature #food #others #color
Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.