Kiwi eats kiwi
#funny #eat #eating #hungry #meal #food #bird #red #kiwi #feature #food #animals #color
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.