BOTTLE MICROPHONE

Bottle microphone

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New jokes

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!