BOTTLE MICROPHONE

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Bottle microphone

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New jokes

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.