If you can read this I´m drunk
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.