Welcome to hogwarts
#kid #child #funny #boy #frustrated #excited #magician #sad #green #offended #flying #clean #tidy #people #feature #emotion #color #activities
Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.