BEST CAR SECURITY SYSTEM IN AMERICA

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Best car security system in America

#funny #fun #car #feature #activities #vehicle

New jokes

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!