Best car security system in America
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Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.
At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Don“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.