CHEWIE WE´RE HOME IN ASS

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New jokes

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!