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New jokes

Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.