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New jokes

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99