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New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.