Need a hand?
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Don“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"