ATTENTION PLEASE

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Attention please

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New jokes

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.