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New jokes

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Mummy┬┤s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.