KID´S MEAL

Witch wants kid´s meal

#funny #hungry #woman #meal #food #magician #shopping #feature #food #people #activities

New jokes

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.