360 degree camera of grandmothers
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Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.