3D TIGER SHIRT

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New jokes

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!