EXPECTATIONS

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Expectations

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New jokes

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99