FAMILY PHOTO

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Family photo

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New jokes

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."