SUN PROTECTION

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Sun protection

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New jokes

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"