KISS THIS

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Kiss this

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New jokes

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.