Model vs real woman
#funny #woman #girl #fail #drunk #beer #cool #swimming suit #feature #people #others #food #things
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"