UNIVERSAL ROAD

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Universal road

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New jokes

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."