METAL DOG

1717.jpg

Metal dog

#animal #white #funny #lie #bored #tired #dog #path #road #relax #animals #color #feature #activities #emotion #nature

New jokes

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."