SWISS KNIFE VS FRENCH KNIFE

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Swiss knife vs french knife

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New jokes

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."