Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.