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New jokes

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.