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New jokes

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99