No batteries no problem cucumber
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Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99