IN CASE OF WAR BREAK GLASS

In case of war break glass

#white #funny #bird #red #pigeon #color #feature #animals

New jokes

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.