TV BEER MUG

TV beer mug

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New jokes

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.