Escalator fail stairs
#funny #fail #shopping #wtf #feature #others #activities #reactions
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well there is now !
Employee: How?
Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.