Escalator fail stairs
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99