That´s an old photo butterfly
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.