Parrot in chocolate
#white #funny #meal #food #delicious #chocolate #parrot #color #feature #food #animals
Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"