Protected christmas tree
#cute #animal #funny #christmas #dog #christmas tree #sad #feature #animals #winter #emotion
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99