Bare feet in the bus
#funny #woman #fail #omg #wtf #bus #feature #people #others #reactions #vehicle
Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!