Turtle on the moon
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."