Car in the ice
#funny #snow #river #car #winter #water #dangerous #ice #feature #winter #nature #vehicle
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.
At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.