FUNNY LIGHTS ON THE PALMS

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Funny lights on the palms

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New jokes

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Get married
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!," St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"