Flexible man
#funny #crazy #man #scary #dangerous #omg #wtf #feature #people #reactions
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Don“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.