Cat and man wandering
#cat #cute #cats #animal #cute cat #weird #waggle #funny #funny cat #fun #man #animals #feature #activities #people
Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.
At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"