Baby and cat
#cat #cute #animal #sweet #kid #child #sleep #sleeping #lie #lying #tired #exhausted #baby #animals #feature #people #activities #emotion
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."