CAT KISS

Cat kiss

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New jokes

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.