SLEEPING CAT

Sleeping cat

#cat #animal #sleep #sleeping #lie #lying #bored #boring #tired #exhausted #annoyed #frustrated #depressed #orange #animals #activities #emotion #feature #color

New jokes

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."